My Single Change That Worked: How I Conquered Post-Work Tension Through an Surprising Discovery in the Loft

One frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock after work. My shoulders grow tense, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut would be followed by the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, several months back, I came across my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. I idly blew into it, immediately transported back to the days when it drove me crazy – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and got a fingering guide on paper. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breathing slowed down, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, several months later, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my timing is rubbish, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and how it clears my mind while playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I make it a habit to play each night after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. Afterward, I feel totally energised and uplifted.

My friends think it’s hilarious, yet a therapist friend informed me I was not only lowering my stress levels, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. For daily wellness, it’s truly an ode to joy.